PRIMEVAL Wolf Roleplay; Write your own story!

[Primeval Admin]

Intermediate to advanced. 200 word minimum for posts. Literacy required.
Semi-realistic wolf/multi-species RPG.
Active and dedicated staff.
Limitless plot opportunities for the entire community.
An active community, with 50+ members!

[hay7199]

As cub i was abandind my mother now an outcast and i was sentinsed to death left in a owl nest. then sudinly a snake poped up an slid his scaly littel body arond my neck i tried to fight i tried pull but i was to weak from the sevrel hours without milk littel did i know that a mother leperd sat under the vary same tree weeping becase a fox had killed her newborn kitten as she slept witch was her vary last one .But with my last dying breath i managed to call for help then the world went black.As i woke up i felt warm furr and my scruff was wet so i thout i was died but when i looked up i saw the mother leperd she told me EVERTHING and she told me my name was Folan and so the years past i became more and more like a leperd and she died one year after i left herbut then i joined a pack but never forgot her THE END

[hay7199]

I Hope everyone liked it:)

[Hypes The Gypsy Girl]

I am not trying to be mean here, but this is a post advertising their site. They no longer check back on this board. If you wish to be a part of their role play you will have to join their site.

As for your piece of role play itself, it was nice, but unfortunately it was more of a synopsis rather than a role play or plot. Also your spelling/grammar leaves a little to be desired. I understand the need to post quickly but please proof read your posts.
Here I have spell-checked and done a grammar-check for you, if you need a beta then I would be happy to correct your posts before you post them:

As a cub I was abandoned my mother-now an outcast-and I was sentenced to death, left in a owl's nest. Then suddenly a snake popped up and slid his scaly little body arond my neck. I tried to fight, I tried to pull, but I was to weak from the several hours I went without milk. Little did i know that a mother leopard sat under the very same tree, weeping becase a fox had killed her newborn cub as she slept. The cub was her very last one. But, with my last dying breath I managed to call for help. Then the world went black. As I woke up I felt warm fur and my scruff was wet, so I thought I was dead, but when I looked up I saw the mother leopard she told me everything. She told me my name was Folan. Soon, during the years that had passed I became more and more like a leopard and she died one year after. I left her to join a pack, but never forgot her.
The End

Also, when writing I noticed a consistency in rushing the scenes. Stretch them out a little and embellish them with descriptions. Take your time and you will become a better writer/roleplayer.
Thank you,
-Hyper

[hay7199]

thanks,but it seid no more than 200 words so thats why i was rushing

[hay7199]

but thanks for editing it

[Hypes The Gypsy Girl]

200 words minimum, not maximum, and that's OK, just remember for future reference.

[shade1012]

A late evening sky held a blood red moon. Lake looked up to see it, the red light casting warm glows on her white fur. Lake's urge to howl was strong, yet knowing that the forest around her was filled with dangers stopped her in her tracks. Cackles of much more evil wolves filled to crisp, chilly air. That made Lake's neck fur rise. Yet, looking for a way out of the evil wolves' grasp was the least of her worries. She needed a home, some place that she could feel happy and safe in. As Lake padded across the moist ground, that was what she thought about. A mate, perhaps pups, and a happy home. Times were tough though, with these packs raiding other packs for land and food source. No where that Lake had looked was anything she was hoping for. Most payed her no mind, were mean to her and or kicked her out. She hoped for a pack with a nice leader and one that didn't steal. Now that late night was approaching, Lake needed to find someplace she could sleep. Seeing a fallen tree that could be a makeshift den, she walked towards it. Suddenly, a jet black wolf leaped out from one side of the winding forest path. He was in a fighting stance and gave a low snarl to Lake. Lake, now frightened, tumbled onto her back in a submissive position. The wolf growled and said, "Who are you and what is your business here?" Lake stood up slowly, unsure of this wolf. She made sure her head was lower than his. "I... well I have no business here. I'm a loner, seeking a pack. By no means was I wanting to tread on your land. I just needed a place to sleep for the night," Lake said, slipping a gaze up to the wolf. He looked down upon her, curling his bottom lip down in a menacing snarl. "Come with me," He said gruffly, and turned to the forest ahead. Lake straightened her neck and stared at the wolf. Why in the world would she trek off with someone like this? She shook her head, and followed the mysterious black wolf into the forest.

Hope you liked it! I'm a big fan of writing like this... So : D
Thanks,
Shade1012

[Bandit]

Jun 10, 2011 16:22:07 GMT Hypes The Gypsy Girl said:

I am not trying to be mean here, but this is a post advertising their site. They no longer check back on this board. If you wish to be a part of their role play you will have to join their site.